*The author of the following Testimonial is Obrad
Nikolic, Nis, Serbia, pastors in Nis, Serbia. Obrad formerly operated the
Church of God, Reformation Movement Website
at www.geocities.
com/chogrefmov. He can now be found in frequent discussion on
various Facebook pages.
===============
Testimony of
Conversion
I was born into a family that was nominally Eastern Orthodox, but
practically unbelieving. In our neighborhood there was an old lady who was a
practicing Roman Catholic. She had some Christian influence over my sister and
me. I still remember how she taught us to pray before going to sleep.
Also, from time to time she used to read to us from the Young People's
Illustrated Bible. I was very much impressed with these beautiful illustrations
of such Bible stories as the flood, the tower of Babel, and the great exodus of
the children of Israel.
Unfortunately, when I was five years old, we moved away, and this was
the end of this good woman's Christian influence.
Atheist Indoctrination
At seven, I started to attend public school where I was systematically
indoctrinated in atheism. At that time, my country, formerly Yugoslavia, was
under a Communist regime, although it was not behind the so-called "Iron
Curtain" and a bit more open to the West.
During my eight years in elementary school, I often wondered how
anyone at the end of the 20th century could possibly believe in God, Adam and
Eve, angels, heaven, and other names and places presented in the Bible. My
conclusion was that believers were probably people raised in such an
environment that they could not overcome such Christian indoctrination even
when they grew up. I did not realize that, in fact, it was I who was being
indoctrinated!
But when I was about 17 years of age, as I was leaving childhood and
growing into adulthood, life became complicated and harder. Due to many
circumstances, I entered a deep, personal crisis that lasted for a few years. I
withdrew from my usual company of friends and, as a result, became very lonely
and isolated.
I felt disappointed by the injustice, cruelty and hypocrisy of people
around me. Life seemed gloomy and meaningless, like a cruel joke. We humans, I
reasoned at that time, come from the darkness of nothingness. Then we live for
a short while, only to vanish again, as if we had never been.
In between birth and death, there is only pain and suffering, I
decided. The next question was inevitable: Why do we live at all? I was on the
edge of suicide.
So, I started to search for answers.
I went to a public library and checked out a book by Lao Tse, a
Chinese Confucian writer. Everything looked so bright and promising as I began
reading his book. There was peace, harmony, love, and integrity.
But by the next morning, I realized that the world still was the same
as before I'd started reading, and, most important of all, I had not changed at
all, either. It was not hard for me to conclude that books like this one
promise much, but do not accomplish anything.
First Ray of Light
Yet, I kept on reading and searching. Soon I came
across the works of a German philosopher named Arthur Schopenhauer. He agreed
with me that all life is really as it seemed to me--cruel, unforgiving, and
unpromising.
In spite of all his pessimism, old Artie showed me one more thing. His
writings convinced me that Christianity is a saving religion. Of course,
Schopenhauer was an atheist, and his definition of "salvation" was a
bit different from the Christian definition. Nevertheless, the Lord used an
atheist to witness to me about His Son and salvation! (God's ways are strange,
indeed!)
Soon, I was reading the books on Christianity. Most of the books I
read were from a Roman Catholic perspective because these were the ones I could
find in the library. I was especially impressed by a biography of St. Francis
of Assisi, a 13th century monk and one of the most faithful followers of Christ
of all times.
As I read about St. Francis, I said to myself, If there is a life
worth living, this is it, the life of unselfishness, humbleness and love for
all men. From that time, I started visiting that old Roman Catholic lady I had
known as a child when we'd lived nearby. She
was the only practicing Christian I knew at that time.
I would borrow Christian magazines and books from her and take them
home to read. Still, I did not have any Bible, nor could I get one to read. But
in these Catholic magazines and books, I found some quotes from the Bible. I
would write them down in a small notebook and carry this with me in my pocket.
Reading these verses and learning about Christianity was like finding a jewel.
I would sell or give up anything to get this fortune!
One Scripture passage especially impressed me: "Now, therefore,
says the Lord, Turn to Me with all your heart, with fasting, with weeping, and
with mourning. So rend your heart, and not your garments; return to the Lord
your God, for He is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great
kindness; and He relents from doing harm. Who knows if He will turn and relent,
and leave a blessing behind Him - a grain offering and a drink offering for the
Lord your God?" (Joel 2:12-14).
As I read these words, I felt that God was already "rending my
heart", but I did not know that what was happening in my heart is called
"repentance." There was no one to teach me this wonderful truth!
Struggle with Sin
A few months later, at the age of 19, I was called into the army to
fill my obligatory term of 12 months for every young man. This proved to be the
worst time in my whole life, even worse than when I thought life had no
meaning!
My conscience had been awakened, so I was trying hard to resist sin
and not to conform to the people around me. But I had no actual strength to do
it. So, although I was trying hard to fight the sinful nature within me by
shunning the evil around me, it was to no avail.
After a month or so, I would give up and begin doing the very things
that I had abhorred before--drinking, swearing, fornicating, and so on--until I
would get sick of it all. Then repentance would follow and another period of
struggle and austerity. But soon sin would overcome me again.
This pattern went) on and on for some 12 months. My experience
resembled that of Romans 7, but there was no one to show me the hopeful verses
of chapter 8 of the same epistle. I did not have a Bible yet to find it myself.
After being discharged from the army, I felt totally sick of sin. A
friend of mine, whom I hadn't seen in years, came and asked me to go to the
cinema with him to see the movie "Scarface"! He obviously wanted us
to become good friends again and to enjoy our evenings together by visiting
pubs and such things. I had no heart to say no to him, but my behavior in those
few days we spent together was such that he obviously concluded I was no good
for company.
I was glad. All I wanted at that time was to be holy, to become a saint,
and to live the kind of life I read about in those Christian books. I was tired
of sin and weary of the world.
Coming to Know God and Myself
Soon I started to attend a church where I got my first Bible. As I was
reading and studying it, I even came to believe in God, Adam and Eve, angels,
heaven, and all those names and places I had scoffed at when I was in
elementary school! My great discovery was that it is not enough to want to be a
Christian. Before that, I thought that all one needs in order to become a
Christian is to wish it! But my experiences in the army and afterwards taught
me otherwise. There was something inside of me that was "bringing me into
captivity," as Paul says. That was my innate sinful nature.
I realized I was a slave to sin. "O wretched man that I am! Who
will deliver me from this body of death? I thank God - through Jesus Christ our
Lord!" (Romans 7:24,25).
And He did deliver me: He saved me by His grace, regenerated me from
death to life, justified me, sanctified me and adopted me into His family as a
son! Life was not meaningless anymore! I knew now who I was, where I came from,
and where I was going. Life made sense.
There was destiny and hope before me. The world was still wicked and
full of suffering, but all of this had been overcome (2 Cor. 4:4; 1 John
5:19,4,5)!
I have found God, His grace offered in Jesus Christ, the Savior, and
victory over sin! Praise the Lord for His indescribable gift! More than 10
years have passed since that day, but the sense of destiny and a calling to a
life of meaning, love and joy have not vanished. In fact, that life has already
started. And the fullness of it will come when my Lord comes to take me where
He is!
_____
Warner’s World, walkingwithwarner.blogspot.com
Legend
tells of the King sitting on his throne in heaven will go down and redeem my
lost creation?” The angel Uriel volunteered to go as the light of example.
Raphael volunteered to go as reason. Michael countered by offering to go with
his sword. On the other hand, Gabriel offered to go with a song. When the Son
said he would die, the King quickly responded by declaring, “Eternal Son, go
down! Go down! For you alone are worthy to die for man!”
